My name is Carla Smith and I’m now 21 years old. I live in a small community in Western Jamaica, and I would say that I am a typical Jamaican youth.
One year ago I registered with the Youth Enhancement Service (YES training program) that I hoped would do something for me. I had seen it all and done it all, but I was still empty. I had no idea what this course would have in store, but I decided to try anyway.
One of my biggest fears was becoming one of the many unsuccessful, forever dreaming ‘nobodies’ I frequently saw in my community. They’re all filled with excuses as to why they never made it and why they probably won’t – their reasons range from lack of financial support, so-called ‘doom’ due to unplanned pregnancies and not being born with a silver spoon in their mouths.
Those things also applied to my life, but I didn’t believe that was an excuse not to get anywhere. I decided to become something at any cost including dating and sleeping with just about anybody, as long as they were financially successful and could do something for me. I was prepared to put up with any ‘crap’. Then I had a little girl to take care of and I was determined that she would not be in need of anything. I thought that being a good mother meant providing financially and materially for her and giving her everything that money could buy.
In all of this, I was never happy, even though I could get things and go places. I needed to try something on my own and so I enrolled in the YES program. I was grasping at straws.
I was shocked to find out that I was in the midst of teaching that was very new to me. Opportunity to meet people that had similar stories gave me motivation to improve my life. I was really inspired by their testimonies.
For as long as I can remember, I had very low self-esteem that wasn’t dealt with until I started the CrossRoads program. I didn’t like myself very much and my lifestyle didn’t help to improve my self-worth.
During the CrossRoads teaching, my whole ‘self’ was exposed and my masks were removed. For the first time I understood about value of self, and although I had some information about STI’s and AIDS, I was never taught in such detail or given the opportunity to ask honest questions.
When the doctor came in to talk about the different STI’s and sexuality on a whole, and especially the people living with AIDS who shared their stories, for the first time I saw the danger I was putting myself in.
I was also able to see for the first time who my true friends were, and I was able to value myself more, especially through the teaching about how loved and special I was by God, even though I was flawed… and I was very flawed.
I got a true understanding of sex, as I never before thought that sex was anything emotional or spiritual. I now realize it is such a precious gift; a gift that should not be abused or given away carelessly.
The ‘how to say no’ teaching made an impact on me. I value myself so much now that it is very easy for me to say ‘no’. I’m now so very equipped and confident, I truly feel empowered. I am able to choose friends and I accept the responsibility of who my friends will be. I am able to now make better choices based on who God says I am, and not based on who others think I am. Now I know what genuine love really is and I won’t be fooled anymore.
I now understand that to be a better mother to my little girl is not about what I can give her, but who I am to her. I’ve been able to apologize to her for leaving her and for living a life that was less than I would want for her – I want to live as a good example to her.
My character has now changed, and people who knew me before is not so easy for them to accept the changes in me, but they have to acknowledge what they see as real.
I’ve decided to live a life of excellence and I see that the only way to do that is to have the ‘Excellent One’. Jesus, the example used as a good role model throughout CrossRoads, is the Person I’ve made a decision to follow. I’ve accepted Him as my Lord and Saviour, and got water baptized on my birthday, September 29, 2002.
I now respect myself, and others respect me. Thank God for the YES Program and especially for CrossRoads.
My name is Carla Smith and I’m now 21 years old. I live in a small community in Western Jamaica, and I would say that I am a typical Jamaican youth.
One year ago I registered with the Youth Enhancement Service (YES training program) that I hoped would do something for me. I had seen it all and done it all, but I was still empty. I had no idea what this course would have in store, but I decided to try anyway.
One of my biggest fears was becoming one of the many unsuccessful, forever dreaming ‘nobodies’ I frequently saw in my community. They’re all filled with excuses as to why they never made it and why they probably won’t – their reasons range from lack of financial support, so-called ‘doom’ due to unplanned pregnancies and not being born with a silver spoon in their mouths.
Those things also applied to my life, but I didn’t believe that was an excuse not to get anywhere. I decided to become something at any cost including dating and sleeping with just about anybody, as long as they were financially successful and could do something for me. I was prepared to put up with any ‘crap’. Then I had a little girl to take care of and I was determined that she would not be in need of anything. I thought that being a good mother meant providing financially and materially for her and giving her everything that money could buy.
In all of this, I was never happy, even though I could get things and go places. I needed to try something on my own and so I enrolled in the YES program. I was grasping at straws.
I was shocked to find out that I was in the midst of teaching that was very new to me. Opportunity to meet people that had similar stories gave me motivation to improve my life. I was really inspired by their testimonies.
For as long as I can remember, I had very low self-esteem that wasn’t dealt with until I started the CrossRoads program. I didn’t like myself very much and my lifestyle didn’t help to improve my self-worth.
During the CrossRoads teaching, my whole ‘self’ was exposed and my masks were removed. For the first time I understood about value of self, and although I had some information about STI’s and AIDS, I was never taught in such detail or given the opportunity to ask honest questions.
When the doctor came in to talk about the different STI’s and sexuality on a whole, and especially the people living with AIDS who shared their stories, for the first time I saw the danger I was putting myself in.
I was also able to see for the first time who my true friends were, and I was able to value myself more, especially through the teaching about how loved and special I was by God, even though I was flawed… and I was very flawed.
I got a true understanding of sex, as I never before thought that sex was anything emotional or spiritual. I now realize it is such a precious gift; a gift that should not be abused or given away carelessly.
The ‘how to say no’ teaching made an impact on me. I value myself so much now that it is very easy for me to say ‘no’. I’m now so very equipped and confident, I truly feel empowered. I am able to choose friends and I accept the responsibility of who my friends will be. I am able to now make better choices based on who God says I am, and not based on who others think I am. Now I know what genuine love really is and I won’t be fooled anymore.
I now understand that to be a better mother to my little girl is not about what I can give her, but who I am to her. I’ve been able to apologize to her for leaving her and for living a life that was less than I would want for her – I want to live as a good example to her.
My character has now changed, and people who knew me before is not so easy for them to accept the changes in me, but they have to acknowledge what they see as real.
I’ve decided to live a life of excellence and I see that the only way to do that is to have the ‘Excellent One’. Jesus, the example used as a good role model throughout CrossRoads, is the Person I’ve made a decision to follow. I’ve accepted Him as my Lord and Saviour, and got water baptized on my birthday, September 29, 2002.
I now respect myself, and others respect me. Thank God for the YES Program and especially for CrossRoads.